Dear lost-lover,

Hello, it's me. They say that time's supposed to heal, yeah...But I ain't done much healing. Hahaha, you know what I mean, don't you?

Yesternight you finally came in my dreams, it was you and me together close to each other what else do I want more? You wore your pink tee and you looked as good as you always do. Who says pink doesn't look good on boys you looked perfect (: But you know what we were fighting again and I was really upset that no matter how I hard I try we always end up like this, I wanted to look into your eyes as if I was telling you to just stop and look into mine too. They speak more than my words. Why haven't you recognized until now that I'm NOT impassive I might be unexpressive though. Those moments of helplessness when I couldn't give it to you what you really mean, what you have meant to me until now were purely wicked. Suddenly a teardrop rolled down my eye and I couldn't take it anymore. It suddenly reminded me of how I've been so unlucky with the matters of heart, always a carnage it was. And, again this time a didn't want the same to happen again. I wanted you to feel special at that moment that see I don't say but I mean, I know it's hard to understand but I love you, I always had unlike if you ever did or didn't. I love you. I don't say but my heart knows it. And then you know what happened? You looked at me and said I know you didn't hurt me intentionally and smiled at me by saying that you were sorry! I smiled back and then I climbed up to your lap and we hugged. We hugged! As tight as I could to never let you go again!!

That's it that was the dream. Then I had another dream about me visiting my psychologist and trying to explain it to her what makes me sad and tired. She laughed at me saying that it is absolutely insane you are making excuses and I remember I hyperventilated and couldn't speak more.

Then I woke up.

They say we dream about the things we desire for or feelings that were repressed for so long that our brain decides to finally live them. I dreamt about you and you were on my mind from so long, I knew we were not going to end together and that's why the reluctance I was showing was finally overtaken my brain to give me that love I wanted. Who says love is a matter of the heart? Love is a matter of brains. I stopped at the part where we were together and my brain made us inseparable at least in that dream of mine.

I'm writing it down because I want to immortalize it somewhere in the time, a part of me, broken but was loved with full measure at those pretty moments, I'll cherish them. 

So, we had issues I complained that you never said what you meant and you complained that I never meant what I said! Had we been together may be face to face we would have just hugged each other and all those misunderstandings would have vanished just like that. You see, sometimes people are not always what they say, there's so much to them. I'm a galaxy of stars and so are you but we are so so far away. Between us lays a vastness of nothingness. When we collide maybe after an epoch we would merge with demolition but the result would be a beautiful majesty of us together. But, again that ain't gonna happen. Love is not just about physical intimacy, brain to brain connection is what it seeks to make its roots strong. It's about understanding the fathoms of things we don't say. Its like music if we don't play the right notes it will always sound unpleasant to ears no matter how good we are alone. And to play together we need to give each other space, we need to tell them that I believe in you that you'll make it right, you to show that you trust them.

So, my dear irrespective of whether you loved me back or not, you ever understood me or not, you ever valued me or not all I wish to say my love was pure. And if love comes at the cost of self-respect and peace we should leave that no matter how heart-wrenching it is. Thus now I bid you a farewell into the tunnel of time and may we never meet again. At least we are made of the same star-dust (:

Yours lovingly,

Me <3